THE WORLD'S WORST SNOB

By Josie Whitehead

Funny Poems 3 Main Poetry Index

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House Uncle Bob

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My mother’s brother, Uncle Bob,

Must surely be the world’s worst snob.

    He's very rich, beyond all doubt!

    Just listen when he starts to spout.

 

An Aston Martin One-77 -

He’ll even drive this car to Heaven.

    His aim’s to make the heads all turn;

     It shows the world he’s cash to burn.

 

A swimming pool?  Well, yes, of course -

And don’t forget his racing horse.

    A helicopter and its pad -

    Such luxuries are far from bad.

 

A palace?  Well, he’s nearly there;

He’ll buy it when he sells his shares.

    A space ship?  That’s next on his list;

    It’s something that could not be missed.

 

Best at golf?  He’s trying hard!

A chauffeur and, of course, a guard.

    He only thinks about his wealth,

    A subject that’s crept up with stealth.

 

He thinks that even God will say:

“Welcome to Heaven - if you pay!"

     But the Bible says wealth plays no part:

     God’s Kingdom’s for the pure in heart.

 

So with this thought well in his mind

Perhaps today he’ll feel inclined

    To sell the things he proudly owns

    In order that he’ll reach God’s throne.

 

The money from these many things

Will, to the poor, most surely bring

    Some food, some clothes - perhaps a job -

    All sent with love from Uncle Bob.

 

 

* The Bible says that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. (Mark 10.25; also: Matthew 19.24; also Luke 18.25.

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